7 Space
There
is a time when we want to go away from someone who gets much respect and love
from us. That person may be anyone a beloved or life partner or best friend or a
role model or anyone who brought smoothness in our life.
It
was fine unto now, now a distance is soothing then the closeness. We wanted
that closeness. We were desperate for that closeness. Now we need some space. A
guilt feeling, however, bothers all the time.
There
is no ‘guilt felling’ required. There is no need to feel such guilt. It is perfectly
fine to have some space. Sometimes we need our
own space.
To
be near sometimes becomes a heavy thing. So we
should be near only when we want to be, otherwise it is better to go away and
have some space.
Everyone should have his own space. It is in
our space, we have born and grew. We need our space to come back to us. In
closeness (with anyone), we tend to lose our identity. To regain our self we
need the space.
No closeness is permanent. But our space is
permanent. Our space is essential for our life. Closeness happens in no man’s
land. Closeness happens in different space. It is nether our space nor of our
beloved’s. Sooner or later we have to come back to our home. We cannot live in
other’s home for life.
Earlier there was hunger for closeness. The
need at that time for closeness was very desperate. Once hunger has been
satisfied, there is no appetite left for closeness. We start feeling hungry for
space again. Soon we will be hungry again for closeness then for space again. Actually
this is the basic characteristic (nature) of hunger. It comes again and again.
So there
is no need to feel guilty if we are feeling a need for some space in any close
relation.
Long time ago a
teacher and his student were traveling across a vast land. They were invited by
the king of that state for a certain ceremony. The land was very fertile. Lot
of big trees had grown here and there. It was the first visit for the student
through that land. His curious eyes were looking everywhere. He was troubling
with a question. He asked his teacher,” sir, I have noticed an interesting
thing. Plants which are under the big tree have not grown much and are not
looking strong. But plants which are far from the tree have grown much and are
looking stronger. Why is this?”
The teacher replied.
It is a universal law.
To grow we need space. Big tree needs big space. Its big roots needs more earth
to spread and to collect nutrition from the soil. It needs more air and more
sunlight for its growth. So plants under them do not get space to expand or required
amount of air or sunlight. This way they remain under develop. On the contrary
plants away from big plants get sufficient earth, air and sunlight. So they
grew much and they grew faster.
The
same principle applies on the human being. If we remain under the shadow of
someone for long, our growth is affected. Our growth is limited. So every human should have his own space his
own domain also. We should remain in
touch with this space for ever otherwise we will lose our identity. And, losing
our own identity is another kind of death.
To be continued.....
